Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The girls!

I went in for my anatomy scan yesterday and boy did Nate and I get the surprise of a lifetime.  We thought for sure we were having a boy and a girl.  I was so sure I even put boy stuff on my registry and stressed about boy names.  The ultrasongrapher confirmed A was a girl so  45 min we checked her out.  She is right on track and doing perfectly for 20 weeks!  We saw the spine, heart, brain, bladder, kidneys and girl parts.  The whole time we were in awe over what we could see on the ultrasound but were dying to get to B.  I actually wasn't so anxious because I felt I already knew what they were going to tell me but Nate was very anxious.  I blame my confidence on my mother!  She was convinced at the transfer I would have twins and they would be a boy and a girl and every time I talked to her she would say its a boy and a girl and she felt she was right so I guess I started believing her because she was right about the twins.  So we finally got to B and she looked at us and said you are having 2 girls!  I wish I had a video camera of Nate's face!  Most guys are a little disappointed not to get a boy to play sports with or do boy things with.  Nate isn't disappointed he is downright scared!  His first thought is how do I make my daughters know their worth and have good self esteem and be strong woman!  He is scared about when boys come around and if he should buy a shot gun or a sniper rifle!  Yesterday really made me appreciate the kind of man I married!  I know they will wrap him around their fingers the minute they are born but I know for a fact he will be a great dad to daughters!  I think he knows his world will be even more pink than it already is and he will love every minute of it.  We had a talk last night about how we treat each other.  Not that we fight a lot but every couple has their disagreements.  He wants to make sure he sets a good example of how a man should treat his wife and how a wife should treat her husband.  Then he said to me point blank last night he just wants the very best for them and wants to make sure he is providing everything they need emotionally!  Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky! 
The ultrasound pictures are glossier than normal so it was had to take a pic of them so I got a few.

Baby Girl A

Their 2 heads are together!

Baby girl B

Baby girl B
  Oh and for the names.......

                         Baby A:    Aria (Arya) Ann   (we are disagreeing about the spelling)
                         Baby B:    Olivia Jean
The middle name Ann is my mothers middle name and the middle name Jean is Nate's moms middle name.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Calm, not so cool and swollen!

I have been surprisingly calm and relaxed the past couple days.  I think one of the biggest reasons is my blood pressure returned to normal on Monday.  I had a hard week at work last week and I know that made my blood pressure go up.  I just really didn't want my blood pressure to be an issue this early.  I know what the outcome can be and I am not delivering these babies early if I can help it.   I am also happy that I am not on strict bed rest because we have a lot of upcoming plans including my vacation that starts tomorrow!  Maybe that's why I feel so relaxed. 
The weather is defiantly doing a number on me!  I am so swollen and can't even wear my wedding rings.  I also developed pregnancy induced carpal tunnel..yes that happens!  My hands go numb and hurt when I am sleeping, using the computer, talking on the phone and even driving!  Why don't they mention that in the pregnancy books I read!  It is a real pain but I remember dying for pregnancy symptoms so I can't complain to much! 
Another great thing that happened this week is I finally felt actual kicking form both of them!  I have been feeling their bigger movements for a while now but finally this week I felt the "flutters" of the kicks!  I LOVE feeling them and I wish they would kick more!  It's awesome to feel them kick together!  Its like two butterfly's in different parts of my stomach flying around!  
I feel like this post is all over the place but a lot of different things are on my mind...like my big 30th birthday next weekend!  It has been hard to try to plan something because everyone seemed to plan something for that weekend.  We have a wedding out of state next Saturday and because we didn't know what was happening in the bed rest department we held off on planning anything.  So I think we are just going to take the money we would have spent on a party and buy a new camera.  I really like the Nikon COOLPIX L120 14.1 MP Digital Camera with 21x NIKKOR Wide-Angle Optical Zoom Lens and 3-Inch LCD.  It seems like a great camera and reasonably priced as well.  I want something that is a little more advanced because we have a lot of pictures we will be taking in the near future.  I still want to plan to go to dinner somewhere with friends at some point but the rest of the summer is so jam packed I am not sure if it will work out.  
I guess thats all in our world....oh yeah we have a big ultrasound on Monday and I really Hope Baby B cooperates so we know both genders!!!!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Well, Got Some Answers..... Good and Bad

I saw my new Ob on Monday and gave him the history of the pregnancy so far.  After a few minutes of explaining the pain issue he said he knew what it was!  He had done the surgery for my first ectopic pregnancy.  He said after 3 laprascopic surgeries I have a lot of scar tissue at the base of my uterus and when it stretches or I am up and down and moving it pulls and stretches that scar tissue which causes a lot of pain. Plus a twin pregnancy can really cause more stretching and pulling which results in a ton of pain!  It is so nice to figure out what the heck is wrong with me!  For a while I was wondering if I was going crazy or if I was just being a big baby.  He said that it's defiantly not in my head and the pain is very real and although he can't say from personal experience but the patients he treats with just one baby and only one surgery complain of a lot of pain, so my situation is very painful.  I also kept my follow up appointment with my old OB Julie today.  They took my blood pressure and it was very high so they took it on my other arm and it was just as high.  So I have to do some unpleasant test and have it checked next Tuesday.  If it is still high I will have to go on bed rest.  To be honest I feel that work is contributing to the high blood pressure.  Some very upsetting things have happened and although some have been resolved it still is weighing on me so much that I really didn't sleep last night.  The past few days have been one big emotional roller coaster and I am praying that things will all work out.  So somethings are still unanswered but at least I know I am not going crazy and the pain isn't round ligament pain like the dumb midwives were trying to convince me of.  I hope to have some more answers next week.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Hoping to get some answers this week!

Tomorrow I see my new OB and I am really hoping we can figure out what to do about my situation.  This past Wednesday I was in some pain like usual and when I got to work I had started spotting.  So I called my doctor and the midwife told me to go home and if the spotting got worse call and she was the on call for that night.  She asked about the pain and I let her know that I always have pain no matter what I am doing now even sitting but there are stages and different levels of how painful it gets.  If I am not doing much or start to get more pain and I am able to stop what I am doing and put my feet up and stay that way it won't get worse.  If I can do that it just goes from bad to worse.  She tells me its probably just round ligament pain.  I am know what that feels like and its not it!!!!!! Also round ligament pain doesn't last all the time it goes away and mainly happens when you are changing positions.  So that just really made me angry!!  I have already had issues with the midwives in this practice and this was the icing on the cake.  By 9pm Wednesday night I was in so much pain and had a hard time walking.  The pain then moved to my back so I just went to bed because I didn't want to call her again because I knew she would make me even more angry!
Every day at work I leave in pain.  Alot of the time I work longer than the 4 hours I am suppose to work and all the up and down really contributes to the pain.  I know its hard for work to accommodate the 4 hour shift because you never know how many customers will be in the store and how long each transaction takes.  I know my managers are frustrated at the schedule and  I am very frustrated with all of this but my main priority is not work its making sure I carry these babies as long as possible and hopefully not killing myself trying.  I really hope my new OB can help me and maybe figure out what is going on!  I am hoping if we can figure out what is causing the pain we might be able to avoid it.  I also want to be able to control what I do.  If I start to feel more pain I would like to be able to stop what I am doing and rest because I feel that its my body telling me to rest and slow down.
I knew that a twin pregnancy was high risk and there are more complications that go along with it but I didn't expect what has been happening and I hate feeling so useless.  I hate not being able to get things done.  However everyday I am just so thankful I am still carrying 2 healthy babies and this is a small time in my life and when I am holding them in my arms it will all be worth it!

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Up in the Air!

I feel like my whole life is up in the air right now, at a time when I want stability the most!  I grew up very in a christian household and went to a christian school.  The christian school was really strict and a little cult like.  I am happy for the sacrifices my parents made to send us to a private christian school but that school did a number on me in regards to religion.  However looking back I have come to realize it kept me out of trouble in the early teen years so I am thankful for that.  The reason I bring this up is as soon as I was out of that school I strayed away from the beliefs of my church, not the school, and have had a hard time going to church.  Since starting IVF I have started to go back to my religious roots more and more.  No I am not quite ready to go to church but I have been praying a lot more and trying to retain myself not to worry so much and pray about situations and know that everything will work out the way it should.  Well the past couple of weeks have been a test and a half and at times I am failing!  At this point I have no idea where we will be when these babies are born!  I LOVE our house but we need to sell it so I can stay home.  I have to keep thinking that it doesn't matter where we live as long as I have my wonderful husband and healthy babies I won't care if we live in a place that is not as nice.  We have a few options and some happen to be out of state which also stresses me out.  On top of all that stress I had to go to the ER on monday because I was in a lot of pain and showed signs of very early preterm labor.  They said that my body is telling me to slow down and if I don't I will go into labor early!  So they have me only working 4 hours a day.  Yesterday I did my first 4 hour shift and I still left in pain!  I think it is the constant up and down that my job requires.  So I am not sure if they are going to take me out of work completely.    So another up in the air right now!  I just need to remember as long as I am taking care of these babies and making sure they stay in until at least 35 weeks then what ever happens will happen.  It doesn't keep me from worrying about everything!  I just wish I had a crystal ball to see December!  I just keep hanging on to the fact that every week I make it is a success and I am very thankful for these babies!  I am really hoping all of a sudden everything just works out and becomes clear so I can prepare for the twins! I feel like nesting towards the end is a right of passage and I want to be able to experience that!  Looking back at the pregnancy so far it is nothing like I expected!  Don't get me wrong I LOVE being pregnant and I am so thankful for this but I envisioned once I hit the second trimester I would feel great and have that pregnancy glow.  I guess I envisioned a text book perfect pregnancy!  After talking to other IVF patients turned OB patients I realize we are a different breed of pregnant patients!  We like to know everything that is going on.  We are so in tune with our bodies that when we feel things unexpected we call the doctor when sometimes we don't need to.  We are also use to having our hand held at a fertility clinic and being kept in the loop during our care that we kind of need that in an OB clinic.  The transition from infertility patient to pregnant patient is harder than I anticipated.  I am still plagued by fear that something might go wrong and we will be back to square one.    I promised myself once I hit the second trimester I would relax a little....boy was I wrong!  Infertility patients  have more at stake in a pregnancy and that causes anxiety especially when things go wrong.  A minor bump in the road can feel like a disaster because our bodies have failed us time after time that it is almost expected that it can happen during pregnancy.  Every week I just thank my body for not failing and pray it continues to do what it is suppose to do.  So all I can do is pray and take care of myself and these precious gifts as best I can and hope everything else becomes clear!