Long time no see!

Wow, I haven't blogged in a looonng time!!! A lot has happened!  We moved to a bigger house. We are about 2 weeks away of getting our license to be a foster home! The girls tuned 2! What made me blog today happened at 6:45am. I know I have posted about things we couldn't live without in previous post but this is what I WISH I HAD!!! I woke up to the girls crying.  It was Nate's turn to wake up with them and he got up and put them back to bed.  I was not happy because I was scared they would fall back to sleep after 7 and then nap time would be a nightmare!  Oh yeah, I should back up. We moved the girls to toddler beds a little over a month ago.  The first week I literally had to sit outside their bedroom door and go in every few minutes and put them back in their bed!  It got better the second week and we had it down pat by the 3rd week.  Fast forward to this week...NIGHTMARE!  I have no idea how they regressed but one day I actually had to sit in their room for both nap time and bedtime. The days we had major issues I noticed the girls slept in until a little after 8am.  I wasn't complaining at the time trust me but I need the break during their nap time!  So Thursday I woke the girls up at 7:30.  Nap time went a little better.  Yesterday they woke up at 7:30 and nap time went much better! All that to bring me to this morning. 
I told Nate he needed to wake them up around 7:30.  Main reason...He was going to be gone most of the afternoon and I didn't want to fight with them at nap time.  I was in and out of sleep until 8 am praying they were not sleeping and just playing quietly.  Every time I woke up I wished I had a video monitor instead of just the sound one.  This isn't the first or even the 10th time I have wished I had a video monitor!  This is my biggest regret and every time I think I should just bite the bullet and get one I talk myself out of it.  I always think that at this point it might be a waste because how much longer do they really need a monitor? 
I remember when we did our baby registry I glanced at the video monitor but saw the price and thought they were one of those pointless waste of money items.  Although, I did consider the angel care monitors because I was paranoid of SIDS.   I guess at the time I figure I couldn't see the girls actually breathing on the video monitor so what was the point!  BIG MISTAKE!
The first time I wished for it was when the girls were about 5 months.  I want to see if the girls were napping and they were such light sleepers opening the door usually woke them up.  Then when we moved to Ohio and they had regular am and pm naps.  They would laugh hysterically at each other and I wanted to see their shenanigans!  Now that they are in toddler beds I have wished for it even more! 
So the piont of this super long drawn out post is...if you are expecting, get the video monitor!  If you are expecting twins or more..GET THE VIDEO MONITOR!!!!! I still might get it if I can find a deal.  This is my one regret!

Apperantly we LOVE to move!

After much conversation and weighing options we have decided to hold off IVF and our working to becoming a foster home.  Nate has always had a heart for it since working at a residential home in NH.  We have make up classes in October/November and then a home study and then we will be licensed.  We realized quickly that our 2 bedroom 1 bath house was not going to work for our plans.  So we are looking at moving next month.  That makes 3 moves in 3 years at the same time every year:(  I really want stability for the girls but this is inevitable.  We have found an amazing 3 bedroom 2.5 bath house!  So again I pack up our life.  I guess the good news is we are only moving 5 miles away instead of 500 miles this time.  So here are a few pics of the new house.

 

Baby 3 and/or 4??

Most moms that are in the toddler stage seem to forget the newborn stage and the pregnancy (if it was particularly hard).  I thought that wouldn't be me.  They start to discuss the serious possibility of another child. I thought that wouldn't be me since I won big at the 2 for 1 sale.  After the discussion it becomes a reality and the planning begins.  SOOOO not me!  HAHHAHA famous last words. 
I have off and on for a little while now had the itch to maybe try IVF again.  I would then have a hard day with the girls and that itch would be gone.  Then it would come back and the cycle began.  The past couple of month the itch has turned into a full blown rash and it is taking Nate along for the ride!
So I started to research IVF clinics here just to test the waters.  OMG for a state that is cheaper than NH in every way they failed in one area...FERTILITY!  The clinics I called wanted $15,000 PER CYCLE(not including medication)!!!! We paid $7500(not including medication)!!! So I call Dr. Hill's office in NH to see if they knew of any clinics around my area.  What I got from that call was hope that we could do this again!  Dr. Hill can do it for me and I would just need to come to NH for about 2 weeks and we could fly Nate in for they last big part!  Not only can he do it but its now only $6800 and if you do 2 cycles and they are unsuccessful the third one is FREE! So I can do 3 cycles for less than the cost of 1 here! So we are projecting early 2014 to start this all over again. 
I still fear it not working but now I kind of fear it working a bit to well!  I have told Nate to just prepare for another set of twin girls.  Or even more hair raising... Triplet girls!  What if Aria and Olivia were just an intro into what is coming (insert shutter here)! I have come to the conclusion what ever happens is no mistake.  God will decide what we need.  So if it is all girls and triplets well he better give me a lot more patients and sleep:)  The reason I say 3 is because 3 eggs might be the best since I will be 32.  We shall see:)  I have a consultation call with Dr. Hill on Monday and I am sure we will discuss that.  So I am sure there will be more post to come!

Must Haves for Us 12-18 month

So I keeping with the tradition of the must haves that worked for us I thought I should do a 12-18 month post. I have no idea if anyone reads these list or even cares but it is fun to look back on as time flies! So on to the list.

1. Baby Signing Time or Signing Time DVDs -  These are super annoying and the songs get in your head for hours but THEY WORK!  Liv can sign so many things I can't keep up and Aria is right behind her.  They still don't talk much so this helps A LOT!!!!!

2.  Riding Toys-  The girls LOVE anything they can "Drive" or ride!

4.  Books- They love to be read to or just sit on their bean bags and read to themselves

5.  Blocks and Shape Sorters-  They get frustrated easily with them but when I sit down and help them they love it.

6. Hide and Squeak Eggs-  These are not something I would have purchased but my mom sent them as a Christmas gift and they LOVE them!!!

7. Water Table-  My friend gave us her water table and it is a huge hit.  It also hold an umbrella which is good!

8.  Rash Guard Long Sleeve Swimsuits-  Less sunscreen=good!

I guess that is all I can think of for now

Encouragement

Found this online. I don't know where it is from or who wrote it but really hit home with my last post!

To the mom who's breastfeeding: Way to go! It really is an amazing gift to give your baby, for any amount of time that you can manage! You're a good mom.

To the mom who's formula feeding: Isn't science amazing? To think there was a time when a baby with a mother who couldn't produce enough would suffer, but now? Better living through chemistry! You're a good mom.

To the cloth diapering mom: Fluffy bums are the cutest, and so friendly on the bank account. You're a good mom.

To the disposable diapering mom: Damn those things hold a lot, and it's excellent to not worry about leakage and laundry! You're a good mom.

To the mom who stays home: I can imagine it isn't easy doing what you do, but to spend those precious years with your babies must be amazing. You're a good mom.

To the mom who works: It's wonderful that you're sticking to your career, you're a positive role model for your children in so many ways, it's fantastic. You're a good mom.

To the mom who had to feed her kids from the drive thru all week because you're too worn out to cook or go grocery shopping: You're feeding your kids, and hey, I bet they aren't complaining! Sometimes sanity can indeed be found in a red box with a big yellow M on it. You're a good mom.

To the mom who gave her kids a homecooked breakfast lunch and dinner for the past week: Excellent! Good nutrition is important, and they're learning to enjoy healthy foods at an early age, a boon for the rest of their lives. You're a good mom.

To the mom with the kids who are sitting quietly and using their manners in the fancy restaurant: Kudos, it takes a lot to maintain order with children in a place where they can't run around. You're a good mom.

To the mom with the toddler having a meltdown in the cereal aisle: they always seem to pick the most embarrassing places to lose their minds don't they? We've all been through it. You're a good mom.

To the moms who judge other moms for ANY of the above? Glass houses, friend. Glass houses.

Pre Kid Me vs. Post Kid Me

I have struggled in the past year and a half with feelings of guilt and sadness.  I know I touched on this a while back but it seems to stay with me.  I have said this time and again.  Pre twin Emily would kick the crap out of Post twin Emily!!!! Reason... not being 100% grateful and loving every minute of being a mom!!!  I would have done anything to be a mom and if I had read a blog with a woman that had beautiful twin girls complaining about how hard it is, well I would have had a few choice words for that mom.  Fast forward to today!  Our life is defiantly not the rainbows and butterflys I thought it would be!  There are times I sit back and look at my girls and know how lucky I am .  They make me laugh and are sooo cute it hurts.  However, there are more times than not they cry all the time, fight with each other and get into more trouble in one second while my back is turned.  I get so frustrated and don't know how to get through the day!  Then I see the news in the minute I am ready to lose it and see the destruction the tornado in OK caused and how many parents lost their children and feel horribly guilty. Then I read a blog about a fellow infertile struggling with another loss and feel even more guilty!  How does one find balance????  Then throw in being married with kids!  That is a whole different post!  I feel such immense pressure to be the perfect wife, the perfect mother and have the perfect house.  Do I let the girls CIO or look into more attachment parenting.  Do I freak out when I let the girls eat something not good for them!  The list is endless!  With so many strong opinions on parenting out there how do I know what to do!  I always feel judge by another mom or even strangers.  Maybe I put that on myself but I do feel mothers can be the most judgmental!! Myself included! I would also like to say if I have ever said something ignorant and judgmental to anyone before I had kids about parenting I am sorry and now realize how hard it really is!  I am more convinced then even as moms working or stay at home it doesn't matter we need to all stick together because this is HARD!  I guess I will get off my soap box now.  Next time I am tempted to criticize someone else's parenting skills I will reread this and remember we are all doing the best we can and its all a gray area! There isn't one right way to parent and I just need to find what works for us.

Life's crazy ride for sure!

It has been a looong march and part of April! The first thing is, I am kind of working again, in a way.  I am defiantly still 100% a stay at home mom but now I am also getting into real estate.  I have always LOVED real estate and now I am getting the opportunity to learn about real estate in my new town.  I will be hopefully getting my license this summer but for now I am hunting down investment properties and then renting all of the businesses properties.  So far I am LOVING it.  I never thought I would miss working but I realize I kind of do.  I would HATE a regular job. This gives me the flexibility I need.  I also have a wonderful sister in law that helps me out when I need do things when Nate isn't home.
The second thing is our trip to Arizona got pushed up unexpectedly.   We had a family emergency so we went the last week in March. I will NEVER fly with young kids again!  Heading to AZ was not horrible.  We had some rough patches and they only slept for like 45 minutes of the 4.5 hour flight.  We landed and had to sit on the tarmac for another 45 minutes.  Aria LOST it!  The time change and new surroundings also proved to be a little challenging for the girls.  The best part was meeting their cousins, family and friends that live there.  We have a lot of fun memories! The flight home was a nightmare.  Aria was a mess and Liv was super squirmy.  It took them about 3 days to readjust to east coast time.  One night Aria cried off and on for 4 hours! 
The third thing is we are now a bottle free house!  I finally cut the cord and weaned Aria from night toddler formula feedings.  I do give her a sippy cup with water because I do think she gets thirsty. She has been sleeping through the night more often now! 
I am really starting to love it in Ohio!  The longer I am here the more I know I was meant to be here.  Here are some photos of our trip.

Oh yeah Ari got a black eye from falling on sidewalk chalk!

Easter Sunday in AZ

We Failed:(

So we had our early intervention screening today and we failed miserably:(  They had to score a 35 or higher.  The scored a 10.  They also failed social as well.  So our next step it to have an evaluation done and see what we are really looking at. Since their appointment last week I have been really trying to work with them in developing language.  They are not catching on.  Although they can usually point to their eyes, ears, nose and mouth now:) 
I am also trying to get Aria to not wake up and want a bottle at night.  I know this should have been cut awhile ago but I am weak.  We also are changing their bedtime from 6:30 (yes it is early but it worked for us) to 7:30.  That has been hard even with the time change. 
I guess that's it for now...the 3 hour finale of the Bacholor is on!

Best explanation of motherhood!

‎This lovely story was written by Dale Hanson Bourke.
We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.

I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.

That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her
baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming
children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.

My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.

I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child.

I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.

I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time.

I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

Never a dull moment!

One of my best friends flew in from NH this past weekend and we had a blast!  We took the girls to the Y to swim.  They LOVED it!  We did as well since it was 30 degrees outside and we haven't swam since August!  I am so happy that they love water since I am such a water person!  I am still wondering how I am going to like Ohio in the summer since it doesn't have a ton of lakes with in a 20 mile radius! We also had a fun girls night with some of my new friends here!  It was surreal to see my new friends with my old and was a nice feeling!  Anyway, we also went to Polaris which has a cool indoor/outdoor type mall.  Plus a Cheesecake Factory! I love cheesecake!   I did find the lunch a bit over priced and the spinach cheese dip was very bland for almost 11$.  Their cheesecake is sooo worth it though!  I had the red velvet and it was amazing.  It even topped the red velvet cupcakes from Boston Children's. I don't think I blogged about them last April when Liv was admitted but I should have because they were really good. 
She was here from Thursday to Sunday...Far to short for me:(  I was sooo excited she was able to come out and see where we live. 
Yesterday was the girls 15 month check up....I can't believe they are 15 months already!  Aria is a little over 20lbs and Liv is 18.  She is now in the 3rd percentile for weight so we are doing well!  There has been something bothering me for a while now and they brought it up at our appointment after a few small test.  The girls language.  They don't seem to be communicating as well as most kids their age.  They hardly say mama and dada let alone 5-8 other words.  I mentioned it to my mom about a week ago.  So our pedi refereed us to a speech therapist. I am not super worried because I know they grasp things and I am sure it will come but I wouldn't mind the help since most days I feel like I have no idea what I am doing in the education sense.  I would also love for them to start communication a little better instead of crying all the time.  So thats what we are working on now. 

So sick of sick!

Worst winter of sickness EVER!  I just got over strep!  I have had strep once and I was a senior in high school!  So far the girls have not gotten it but I am still worried!  Between ear infections, the flu and now strep, I feel like we will never get out of this cloud of sickness!  Hopefully we will be over the worst of it and spring will soon be here.  I wonder if part of the issue is being couped up inside all the time.  Having 2 toddlers to get ready just to run to the store is in my opinion a HUGE hassle!  So I tend to do any runs to the store when Nate is home.  I can't wait until we can play outside or go some where with out all the bundling up!  Plus I like to see how long a gallon of gas can last me so I tend not to go anywhere unnecessarily.  I had a gallon last me almost 6 weeks!
Anyway, I guess thats all that has been going on.  In a week and a half one of my best friends from NH  will be here!!!! I am soo excited!  Hopefully we are all healthy for the visit!

A lot going on here!

Wow so much has happened and so much more is coming!  The first is I decided to watch an 11 month old 5 days a week.....BIG MISTAKE!  He screamed all the time so I stop that after a month!  Now Nate and I are taking a financial class we are learning a lot and hoping we can live debt free someday.
 We are also heading to Arizona in April.  4.5 hours on a plane with twins!  Yikes, I am a little scared! 
One of my best friends is coming out here at the end of the month and I can't wait!!! The adjustment to a new state hasn't been easy so having her here will be awesome!
On top of all that I decided to learn to sew!  I am hoping to get good enough to make the girls dresses and thing! 
I guess that is what is happening in our lives right now.  The girls are growing so fast!  Every day there is something new!  They both are quite funny to watch.  They are AMAZING! Sorry for the sporadic post;)

I have never missed a inanimate object so much!

I am so excited my Mac is fixed!!!  I am so happy to have it back!! I have missed everything about it.  So here are some cute videos of my divas!  The first video is Liv.  I decided to watch one of the step up movies one morning and apparently Liv thinks she belongs in the movie with her moves.  The second video is Aria laughing at Nate. 

Waiting for my Mac to be fixed!

Finally orders the part to fix my computer so I can post some holiday pics.  Unfortunately we were all sick.  So I didn't take all  the pictures I wanted to.
The girls are now almost fully walking!!!! It's a whole new wobbly world!  I am happy for this new stage but also sad...They are getting so big!  The "baby" bug is starting to unleash in me.  I know it would make sense to wait until the girls are at least 3 incase we get twins again but I have waiting and being patient!  So for now we shelf the topic because we know it is best. 

Broken Mac:(

A few days before Christmas my laptop stopped working.  I think it is my keyboard so I am just waiting for the part.  My husband was nice enough to bring his work laptop home for me this weekend so I could get some stuff done including blogging.  I logged onto blogger and have to congratulate a blogger friend.. they just adopted a beautiful baby boy!  I am sooo happy for them!
In Aria and Olivia news... We are walking!!!!  It is the cutest thing!  I will post videos when I get my laptop back.  They are so proud of themselves.
I also decide I didn't have enough to deal with and took on a 10 month old 5 days a week!  It is actuallly not that much more work.  Aria is having a little trouble with it and seems to be very territorial of me when he is here but over all it's going well.
We were all sick over Christmas and new years but as soon as i get my laptop fixed I will post some photos of the holidays.
I guess thats all for now!