A very sad date!

Three years ago I received some the worst news anyone could get.  My father had passed away unexpectedly.   I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news.  I remember the day like it was yesterday. It is hard to believe it has been 3 years already!  I can still clearly hear his robust laugh. I can still  remember how he answered the phone when I called "Hey Ems!"  Sometimes when I am driving home from work I pick up the phone to call him just to catch up. I always seemed to have that ritual...calling him on my long commute home.  I am scared that in time I will forget his laugh and forget his voice.
A friend of mine just recently lost his mom and I so remember the feelings and emotions you get on a daily basis when it is still fresh.  I feel so bad for him because sometimes it consumes your mind.  Time really does heal and it does get better, but there are still sad moments and memories that will pop out of nowhere.

                                                                      I miss you dad

Great Movies I have seen lately

I normally wouldn't think to blog about the movie I like but I just saw a movie that I felt was worth blogging about.....Inception!  Wow, what a movie!!  I sat and stared at the t.v after it was over and tried to comprehend the movie!  I haven't seen a movie like that in awhile.  I then decided to make it a great movie day since the weather is really yucky today.  There are a lot of movies I really enjoy but a few stick out in my mind.  The Hangover is the next movie on the list for my movie day.  I think that movie is one of the funniest I have seen this year!  Its right up there with my favorites like Forgetting Sarah Marshall, The Wedding Crashers and Old School.  I also love the Twilight Saga (although I like the books better up to this point).  Eclipse was another great movie for me this year.  I haven't been to the theater in a long time because I am petrified of the bed bug epidemic, so there were a lot of movies this year released that I am waiting to see. So to be fair to those movies I really can't rate the movies of this year.  So for 2009 I really enjoyed Sherlock Holmes, Up on the Air, The Hurt Locker, obviously The Hangover,  and Avatar.  As far as 2010's list that will come when I have seen the movies on my list for this year.  However I do feel at the top of the list will still be Inception.  I am not sure of any movie that will pass it, but you never know!

The bachelorette Party that finally happened!

Tonight I got together with a great group of girls.  A lot of us girls never actually got a bachelorette party so we decided just because we are married and some of us that are not doesn't mean we cant have a great girls night out.  I have always wanted to make wine and Vintners Cellar in Concord lets you do a wine tasting and then make a batch of wine.  We also get to make our own labels!  First we went to Your Fired and painted pottery.  It was so relaxing and fun.  The staff was super nice and made us hot chocolate and tea!  We didn't have much time before we had to be at the winery so we just grabbed a pizza.  Then we got to taste great wine.  We decided to make Green Apple Riesling.  I haven't decide what my label will be yet.  The only problem is we only have a 2 day window if we want to watch our wine be bottled and I think that the timing will be a problem for me since I will hopefully be "ovary" deep into the IVF process.  Regardless, we had a great night and hope to do this every couple of months!  I am sooo thankful to have such a great group of friend and night like this remind me of how lucky I am.  Everyone that came tonight means a lot to me and I value their friendship!

Christmas is around the corner!

Wow I can't believe it is almost Christmas! I feel like there is so much to do.  I have a few Christmas parties which I am partly dreading.  I LOVE the holidays but dieting during this time of the year is VERY difficult!   Weight watchers has just revamped there program.  For the most part I knew what I could eat and the point value of the food but now I have no idea!  Customers have also brought me awesome gifts but a majority of them include great treats which really is hard to enjoy in moderation.  So I am hoping that I can make it through December and at least lose a little weight.
As of today I have about 45 days until I start IVF!  I am sooo excited and I just want to get started.  I wish I could have started some of the process this month but the timing didn't happen.  I just have to learn a little more patience.  It will be here soon and then I am sure it will fly by.

Thanksgiving

So I have had a very busy couple of weeks.  First my acupuncturist put me on a cleansing diet.  I couldn't eat for 3 days.  I just drank water and a lemon juice/maple syrup mixture.  That was really hard to do but I did it.  Then I could only eat fruits and vegetables for the next 20 days.  I have never craved carbs so much in my life!  Now I am back on weight watchers and it is going well.  I am not sure how Thursday will be so I am hoping for the best.
The only other issue lately is Nate has had a few freak outs.  He thinks we cant afford kids.  He did everything out on paper and freaked out.  My feeling is NO ONE can afford to have kids on paper.  You just do it and it all seems to work out.  He says he doesn't want to just get by.  I say it doesn't matter how we do it having kids is one of life greatest gifts and if everyone waited until they were ready and had enough money in their opinion NO ONE would have kids.  So after talking to his brother in law he realized what I was saying is right.  This is the one thing in life you just do and it will work out.  I am not saying we can't plan ahead but I also feel that if we waited until Nate felt ready we would be childless forever.  Also who knows how long his insurance will cover IVF.  They could change there policy and the coverage in 2012 and then we would be stuck with nothing!   So after presenting my argument and our awesome brother in laws wisdom (they have 3 kids) Nate has finally calmed down.  I forget that the male instinct is to provide and Nate is realizing that this is happing very soon.  I have to understand he needs to freak out every once in awhile because it is a big responsibility and I am sure for him it is scary. I would be lying if I said sometimes I freak out.  What if I am a bad mother and my kids end up being serial killers or screw up their lives.  What if my kids hate me or feel like they can never talk to me.  What if I screw up their lives.  All my life I have wanted to be a mom but what if I am just not good at it.  
 What if I can't keep them safe!  Every once in awhile I get scared.  Thats when I feel that if I just love them and doing everything in my power to help them grow and nurture them it will all work out!  A lot of our friends don't have a ton of money and their kids are some of the happiest I have ever seen!  So I am not sure how many freak outs will happen between now and January but I think it is part of the process.  I think when we look at our child for the first time we will instantly know we made the right choice.

It's been awhile!

Wow it has been a while since I blogged.  I have been soooo busy!  We went to a great wedding this past weekend and then went down to Salem.  We also were treated to a fabulous dinner on Sunday night by the Hanks! 
 Acupuncture is going well.  I need to get back to the gym but I was looking at my schedule and I don't have a lot of time.  Good news is November 1st is on a Monday, I feel like that is a sign to go back to the gym 1st day of the month on what I consider the first day of the week.   
I also just got a Mac Book Pro which I am in love with.  I still have no idea how to really use it but I am learning. I am considering moving the blog onto a site I can create on iweb but I am not sure if i know how to use that.  I think I need some lessons!!!  

Acupuncture!

So last week I had my first acupuncture appointment.  I LOVED it.  I slept great that night and felt relaxed for days after.  I am going back on Friday.  I also found out that I can pair acupuncture with losing weight as well and Adam the acupuncturist also specializes in that as well.  So hopefully Friday I will know more about that.  The only downside to acupuncture is the price.  Insurance doesn't cover it but if that is the majority of the out of pocket expenses for this whole experience that I should be thankful. 
The reason I am starting now is the follicles I am producing now will be the ones that will be mature during the actual IVF cycle.  Acupuncture helps make the best follicles so I start now and continue through until the end of the cycle which will be in Jan/Feb.