FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I got a call today from Jessica my fertility nurse.  She said they denied my IVF claim because I am about 15lbs over there limit!  15!!!!  She said I would have to lose the weight before they could resubmit the claim or get an anesthesiologist consult.  If I do the consult I would have to pay for it out of pocket.  She said she would see what the cost would be and get back to me.  Well in true Emily style I couldn't sit back and wait.  I called the place where they do the consults for the clinic myself and explained the situation.  They told me there wouldn't be a charge.  I then called Jessica back and she was concerned they didn't understand that I wasn't having surgery there.  She then explained that it the 15 lb lose would help the implantation and I felt like she was leaning me towards waiting.  I told her I would lose it in time for the implantation but if I could get it approved while doing it was my goal.  If I don't get the consult I couldn't even start the prep until the weight lose which would be about a month.  So I called the clinic the does the consult back to make sure they understood what I wanted to do.  They said they would call me tomorrow.  

I know its only 15lbs and a month isn't a long time but I have been waiting for this for a looong time and a month longer is torture!  I am down right mad at myself for not sticking to my diet through the holidays!  If I had any idea this would have happened my motivation would have been wayyyy better.  My doctor just told me it would be better.  I also had planned on losing it before the implantation.  I was also helping out the Portland, ME store today so I really had to keep it together!  I am in a hotel for 5 days so I bought myself a cheap pair of sneakers to use the gym.  The pool is closed until tomorrow but I plan on doing cardio in the AM and the pool at night.  I don't know what is going to happen but if some reason I have to wait I can't waste another day.  It is hard right now because I am in a hotel for the next 5 days so eating out is my only option.  Tonight I had  grilled chicken and salsa from On the Boarder.  Tomorrow I work at a store that is next door to a Hannafords so I can eat a Kashi meal for lunch and get yogurt and fruits for snack.  So hopefully I will have good news tomorrow.  If I get the consult I would drive from Portland down to Statham NH and back before I work at 11 am on Thursday.  So right now it is what it is and I need to do everything I can to lose the weight.